(en) Canada, ucl-saguenay - The extreme-right Saguenay testimony to a youth adrift by Collectif Emma Goldman.(fr, pt)

 [machine translation]

I do not see how to begin this text because it is a subject that is difficult. J'suis a 22 
year old guy. This text came to me, or rather drifting during a drift with a few friends. 
I was an activist with some long especially in the student movement, he did not really 
know my past. I found them in the opening and they have prompted me to write the story I 
told them. ---- Start by saying that I was young, young and ignorant. I do not really 
have my place in the microcosm of a multi. It was classic, there were athletes, skateux , 
the geeks , nerds and so on. Even if I could associate myself with some groups, I was just 
gravitate. I lived a little frustration, boiling anger, I tend to isolate myself and 
marginalize me. Secondary 3, I met some people who lived the same discomfort. At the end 
of the year, we were ten, several listened to metal music, some hardcore and some, like 
me, more associate culture punk .

The following year, I made a request for a book that was not directly available at the 
library. He had searched a little, but I found it. In a few months, the year of my S4, I 
read the full length of Mein Kampf in French translation. For me it was a revelation and 
the people in the group were interested, they wanted me to share my reading with them. 
This is how we began to fasciser. At this point, it was just ideas that interfered in our 
heads, it was far from critical thinking to distinguish between good information and 
racist propaganda. It is easily identified with the Nazi ideology, brotherhood, white 
supremacy, hatred of the difference was ways to rise above our own existential malaise. It 
was easy, we had never left the country, we were rarely in contact with the figure of "the 
other". With hindsight, I regret having brought those ideas to friends who were looking 
for, but I like them: completely lost. Later, the joint reading of Mein Kampf during 
breaks it was enough, we started sought Mussolini's autobiography and writings of George 
Lincoln Rockwell to deepen. The fact is that this time, we gorged fascist propaganda and 
neo-fascist, then none of us had had a history lesson of the twentieth century. In my 
memory, it was all terribly available so I can not even imagine today with all virtual 
libraries opensource web.

I pause here, we must distinguish young flirting with fascist ideas and organized groups 
who are ready to take action. To my knowledge there was no such groups when they began to 
radicalize. But there was a turning point in an event of the NSBM scene (abbreviated point 
national socialist black metal ) in the Saguenay. This is documented, this Saguenay scene 
exists and is active, the last article in the newspaper about this date in 2012. People in 
the Collective is spoken in that time, there was even an article on their blog. At the 
event, there were a hundred people perhaps more than two hundred. You understand that 
these are old events, I can not locate the exact year of the show but it was between 2006 
and 2009 for sure. There, There was distributing leaflets of hate and racist 
anti-immigration, there has been some "speech" and of course the show groups and local 
NSBM Quebec as Triskelion. It is from there that I could see a form of organization, 
something more than mere adolescent rebellion, for the first time I saw the politics of 
the thing. I know now that this event was neither the first nor the biggest, nor the only 
one of its kind in the region.

The adventure ends for me the year of my high five, I got excited in history and 
especially military history. I searched more and I was uncomfortable with what I took to 
be the "truth." Deepen the fascist doctrine revealed to me through the worst. At 17, I 
dropped everything, I could not see a disciplined life, I saw the submission to authority. 
I no longer believed in the consolidation of the race, I realized that it was the result 
of fear and ignorance. It is the refusal to understand the other, is to put the other away 
until we have the means to destroy it, just to reassure yourself and to surround himself 
with people which are in our "cultural relationship". I was still carrying cargo, but it 
was tight in our siblings at school and outside. It was a few to start listening to more 
punk and abandon the black metal scene. It was easy in those days, to affix A on our cargo 
and our froques leather. By cons, it was soon realized that it shut us access to the world 
of NSBM, but it did not bother us the clash between metalheads and we was obvious.

A year later, there's a young black man who was beaten out of my versatility. There was 
nothing, no newspaper articles, no indignation in the district, it has happened to a high 
school fight like the others, yet another case of intimidation. Nevertheless, I knew I had 
attended two assailants who were a bit younger, it was over. They had swallowed the same 
poison us. At first I thought, "This is not a hate gesture, it is not racial violence, 
it's just the waves that are going a bit far, right?" It sounded wrong, we were all going 
too far for young people who were only fascist sympathies.

In short, our youth has gone adrift, thank you to the ideas that fell on us. It was not 
very easy for young families, but it was not an excuse, it belonged mostly to the lower 
middle class. It is good to have swore an overview of the company in that time, the little 
we saw of the table suited us perfectly. It is when questioned what was seen, we could go 
deeper and when we saw the picture in its entirety we realized we had been had. I make my 
coming out today, I was fascist and I spread ideas hate. That the experience leaves me to 
share the knowledge of this world underground that exists even here is the same anger that 
I had when I was young. Except that the friends of yesterday have become the enemies of 
today and vice versa. Finally, I speak without too develop the political aspect, I book a 
brief testimony but if it can prevent young people near you from falling into the same 
trap that is already half a victory for me.