WORLD WORLDWIDE SPAIN News Journal Update - (en) Spain, CN #435 - The inner trench - Cristina Cobo Hervás (ca, de, it, pt, tr)[machine translation]

 Self-defense: Manage life as a battlefield, as a stronghold of

resistance. Always alert, eyes wide open. Always looking outside,
towards the window of morality, of justice. And overcome each obstacle
and do it in peace, with the pole always in hand, in case you have to
jump high... ---- According to Oihana Sancho, feminist self-defense is
"...a type of self-defense that addresses the personal and collective
empowerment of women, with the aim of eradicating sexist violence.
Unlike other self-defense approaches, this one is not limited to the
physical part, but seeks to work with the participants on issues such as
the appropriation of the body as their own territory and their rights as
citizens. That is, it could be said that it is based on 3 pillars, the
physical part, the psychological-emotional part and the group part».

He coincides in this triple dimension of self-defense with Esther López,
founder of Safo Eskola. For her, the psychological-emotional aspect «...
is one of those that makes the difference between feminist self-defense
and a self-defense course, where self-esteem and feminism are not
addressed. Feminist self-defense not only provides information on the
realities of sexist violence: it also puts on the table the
socialization process by which women are educated to behave in a modest
manner".

It is, however, the group dimension that gives global meaning to the
concept. According to López, «in this way, the prefix "auto" would not
refer here only to a person, to an individual, but to the collective, to
the network of women».

But what exactly do we have to defend ourselves against? What is that
unconscious fear that requires us to always be alert? Why do we feel the
need to know how to physically respond to potential aggression?

The simple answer, and overwhelming. Because we are AFRAID. And it is
not an abstract fear, it is not an artificial mental construct, it is
the verification that the aggressions exist. According to the latest
Macro-survey on Gender Violence, 1 in 2 women (57.3%) residing in Spain
aged 16 or over have suffered violence throughout their lives because
they are women. It is not in our head. The message is there, clear and
concise. It can happen to you, at any time. And that fear, in the purest
Stephenkingnian style, changes shape and feeds on the terror it produces
in its victims.
However, there is a question that we must face, and on which it is
necessary to reflect. Where does the danger come from? Where do we look?
The answer is always the same: out. The outside is a forbidden zone for
us. Anything can happen to us if we leave the space of the domestic. It
is a perverse, cruel message that locks us up in solitude within
ourselves. Any advance in our social, relational, or sexual progression
comes with a package of warnings and contraindications. It is necessary
to remember that, until not long ago, women in our country were not
allowed to enter bars or entertainment venues without a male company,
under penalty of being considered "of light morals" or a whore,
directly. And we managed to take possession of these spaces despite the
signs that warn us that the conquest of that freedom comes hand in hand
with possible damage to our physical integrity, either in the form of
possible chemical attacks (and I refer here to my last article,
«Submissive by vocation"), of multiple rapes in a pack, or murder for
simply going out for a run alone, as in the case of the teacher Laura
Luelmo. And all, of course, under our responsibility, since we are the
invaders of a space that, a priori, is alien to us.

1 in 2 women residing in Spain aged 16 or over have suffered violence
throughout their lives because they are women. It is not in our head.
The message is there, clear and concise. It can happen to you, at any time.

And we also joined the relational market through different applications,
looking for the same as all of them: sexual partner, physical and
personal enjoyment in freedom. And again, the caveat. In a piece of news
published this same month of March, we read that "(...) According to a
study by the Young Women Federation presented this Wednesday, prepared
from 963 surveys of heterosexual Tinder users between the ages of 18 and
35, 21.7 % of women who had met men through the platform were forced to
have a sexual relationship through explicit violence. In other words: of
the 705 who have dated, more than 150 have been raped, one in five. The
figure is even higher if the explicit violence variable is eliminated:
57.9% say they have felt pressured to have sex after dating men from the
app, which, according to the report, has 75 million users worldwide.».
This study is not significant at a sociological or statistical level,
given the sample with which they work, but it fulfills its function
well. You should NOT be there either. And from here on, anything that
happens to you will continue to be your responsibility, because you were
warned. Ignorantia iuris non excusat, what they say in Law.

But we talk. We communicate. And we hurt together. And to all of us who
have had something happen to us, all of us who are one in two, we know
that danger has always been inside, in the space that we consider safe,
in the environment that was supposed to protect us. The place we should
never leave. It is they, those who surround us, who attack us and vex
us. And if we remove sensational headlines, we will see the real focus.

According to data from the Ministry of the Interior, sexist violence is
the third cause of deprivation of liberty, after crimes against property
and against public health. And even today, we have to emphasize that,
according to Organic Law 1/2004, of December 28, on Comprehensive
Protection Measures against Gender Violence, gender violence is defined
as that which, "as a manifestation of discrimination , the situation of
inequality and the power relations of men over women, is exerted on them
by those who are or have been their spouses or by those who are or have
been linked to them by similar relationships of affectivity, even
without cohabitation ". I insist: the third cause of deprivation of
liberty in our country is violence against us by partners or
ex-partners. In our space. In our happy place. For those people who say
they love us.

I have learned to defend myself, my preconceptions and my false sense of
acquired domesticity. I have learned that the first line of defense is
them, the women who surround me and who perhaps know how to see more
than me when I cannot open my eyes.

Referring once again to the data from the Macro-survey, we read that
44.2% of the women who have suffered sexual violence outside their
partner say that the assault occurred at home.
And really, I don't need so much external information. To really
understand the dimension of what is happening, I just have to look up
and talk to them, to the women around me. "I fell asleep with a friend
and woke up because he noticed that he was penetrating me." "My partner
refused to use a condom, he said that in case of problems we could
afford an abortion." «I have never wanted to have children, but he
insisted and we did so. He left me while I was still pregnant». "The boy
I liked raped me as a teenager. I never tell it because I have always
thought that it is my fault». «We had a tremendous row when I refused to
carry out a sexual practice that in my opinion was humiliating. He
insisted, not understanding why I refused to do something that would
give him so much pleasure. "He took off the condom in the middle of the
dust, and came inside." «I stopped working when the girl was born,
because someone had to do it. Now that we're apart, I can't find a way
to go back to work. And I don't feel like a person." "When I go out with
my friends he gets angry, he calls me constantly, or suddenly he's sick
or he needs me urgently."

Have you stopped reading at this point? Do you find it uncomfortable to
leave the aseptic data of the surveys? Because this is just one example
of the many conversations I've had with friends and acquaintances over
time. And each and every one of them is real. They are the truth and the
origin of fear. All strong women, educated and autonomous, unable to
react to any of this because we weren't prepared. Because the danger
should not be inside. And we didn't see it coming.

What should we understand by self-defense, then? I don't feel freer for
being physically stronger, for training hard and knowing how to fit an
uppercut at a given moment. I don't feel freer going out and getting
drunk with my friends, anytime, anywhere.

I have learned to defend myself, my preconceptions and my false sense of
acquired domesticity. I have learned that the first line of defense is
them, the women who surround me and who perhaps know how to see more
than me when I cannot open my eyes. And for this, the first and only
essential requirement is sincerity. We are trained to lie, to pretend
that everything is fine. And we assume the fear of the outside even
though we somehow perceive that it prevents us from leading a full and
autonomous life. But between us, the barriers must fall. Talking,
listening actively, is the ultimate self defense. Because the danger has
always been inside. And there is nothing stronger than a hug to break
the patterns of fear and suspicion.

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