Two years later I appeared on television, and that broadcast completed my total coming out. I was 25 and walked around a beautiful exhibition in Hasselt, with erotic portrait photos of men. There were also some reporters at that event. The AIDS crisis was in full swing and one of the reporters asked if they were allowed to interview me. We talked about the crisis and I also said openly that I was gay.
After the interview aired, everyone knew. That didn't sit well with some people.
I was often not invited to parties, with no excuses was given that I was “too old” or something like that – but I knew better. This happened in my broad circle of acquaintances, but also in the youth and young adult activities of the parish. Many people called themselves a friend of mine, but were ashamed of their other friends when they met me, “the gay one”.
Whether you can really call such people, who are ashamed of you, friends... I don't think so. Men were often also afraid that if they were regularly seen with me, they would also be seen as gay
be seen - and that was something “bad”. During the organization of a New Year's party, things went wrong in the group of friends. Most of us were looking forward to the evening –
everyone was welcome. Except me, it turned out. This was due to my homosexuality and especially due to the fact that I came out openly. I didn't hide myself anymore, I finally didn't feel ashamed
more – and that
“That wasn't right.”
It tore the group of friends apart: those who didn't want me at the party, and those who didn't like such exclusion. There was a heated argument and it escalated - there were actual blows. A real fight threatened to break out and I threw myself in the middle.
“Stop it!” I shouted. “I'm not coming anyway. Everyone go to the party, I'm not worth this fight."
Some friends didn't go to the party afterward on principle. I would make my plans on my own or elsewhere. I can't remember what I did that New Year. I didn't hear anything after that about how the party went - but I wasn't interested anymore.
A few days after the broadcast, I was almost run over by a car in Hechtel. I was walking along the road, a car came rushing onto the sidewalk, I was able to jump out of the way just in time. I never knew who this was. Fortunately, it was not always or everywhere like this. In Hechtel, apart from the one time I was al-most run over, I almost always felt safe.I was active in the handball club. I didn’t play, but did help with the organization and daily management; Officially I was a volunteer as a “field representative”. Volunteer-ing made me so happy: it made me feel useful. Café Sport was the sports café of handball and became one of mine regular pubs. I felt so welcome here. Even after I came out, people continued to be so sweet and friendly to me. They accepted me just the way I was – something I had never thought possible until very recently.
It was here that I met Roel, a very talented handball player. He was straight, I was gay, and we got along really well – a strong bond of respect and friendship. I discovered how sincere this was one good, late café evening, together with a whole group.
The evening was pleasant and noisy, but it was time for me to go back to Peer - I always did that by doing a car stop. I had been doing that for years and it was a great way to get to know people and really feel love for people.
“I'm going to start hitchhiking, guys, I have to go home,” I said at the table.
They would encourage me to stay a little longer, but then it would be difficult to get home – and my par-ents would get worried.
“Wait a minute,” Roel then said. “I'll call my parents, then you can sleep with me."
“You do have a separate guest room, right?” I asked.
“Nothing, you just sleep in my bed,” Roel replied.
That's no small feat. This testifies to how much respect and trust Roel felt towards me. He didn't look at me as "dirty", not as "a hunter", not as "dangerous" - Roel just treated me as I was, as he would treat any other good friend. That was something big. We fell asleep that night while chatting. We had talked a bit about the fact that I was attracted to men, and Roel was very understanding. His parents, brother and sis-ter also knew it. In the morning at the breakfast table, a playful joke was made about it, but all as sweet teasing. We had breakfast together, the whole house smelled of delicious coffee, this was a wonderful family to visit.
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