(en) Britain, AF, The Bristoloan V4 , #2 - Sir Gus Hoyty-Toyty's Cabinet Diary

Monday: My amazing plan to transform Neighbourhood Partnerships into modern sustainable 
democratic moots of the people where they can have a proper inclusive say in how this fine 
city is run has taken a great leap forward. ---- The very nice people from the 
consultation team have set up an excellent online survey for people to have their say 
about their Neighbourhood Partnerships - and judging by the smashing comments we have had 
from all seven people who engaged with this inclusive process, it?s all looking really 
positive and exciting indeed for democracy in this city. ---- Not long now before every 
neighbourhood from Stockwood to Henbury will be able to ?cry freedom? and decide 
everything from which potholes they want repaired to what colour they want their park 
benches painted (well, if there are any park benches left once we start chopping them up 
and burning them in the City Hall biomass boiler to save on fuel bills).

Because as the lovely and clever
Parks supremo Mrs Morgan explained to me
when I bumped in to her in the corridor, ?the
parks amenities furniture transformation sub-
budget has been reabled for cultural regenera-
tion initiatives, and the transformated budget
will be expended on the long term place mak-
ing objective of delivering a contemporary
continental green capital streetscene scenario
through the promotion of non-permanent
sculptural practice.?

I was confused too but then Mrs Morgan said,
?George is going to spend the money on large
inflatable vegetables, dear?. Sometimes it?s all
really bananas at George?s City Hall!

TUESDAY: Had hoped to get started on my
brilliant plan to transform equalities in the
city today, so I popped down to the Equalities
Unit at about 9.30am but no one had arrived
for work yet. When I popped back at 1 o?clock
they had all gone to lunch, and then in the
afternoon they were all on a training course.
Still, it is good to know that we?re investing so
heavily in equalities training. It really under-
lines my commitment, don?t you think?

Even without my amazing equalities plan to
make us all more equal I think there?s the buzz
of equality in the air right now in this city. I
saw two black men across the street in St Paul?s
yesterday who looked perfectly happy. They
even stopped and greeted me with some of
their traditional street jive moves. One I had
not seen before. They both raised their right
arm and flicked their wrist from side-to-side
while chanting ?King Anchor, King Anchor?.
Not sure what it means? Probably traditional
patois? Or is King Anchor a popular dancehall
artist? We?re nothing if not streetwise hepcats
at George?s City Hall!

WEDNESDAY: Went over to the Create
Centre today just to breathe some amazing
sustainable air. Touched base with lots of the
green sustainable thinkers this council has. It
gives me a lot of hope for the future when I
meet a staff team where hemp clothing?s the
norm and who think nothing of still wearing
their bicycle clips in the office.

While I was staring out of the window with
not much to do, I saw the Property Services
guys from the sixth floor all heading out for
lunch. Does anyone know why so many of
them take their golf clubs when they go out
to lunch? Sometimes it?s a confusing place,
George?s City Hall!

FRIDAY: After spending yesterday helping
my good friend Dr Jon sort out his bottle re-
cycling (it soon mounts up), today I met with
finance boss Mr Robinson again. I wanted
him to go through the figures for my brilliant
plan to save the Homeless Prevention Fund by
scrapping adult education. He must have been
there for ten minutes punching figures in to his
calculator, scratching his head and swearing
under his breath. Eventually he got up, said, ?I
won?t be a minute? and disappeared. He reap-
peared ten minutes later with a sheet of paper
full of figures and confirmed it all added up.
He also told me he thought it was a great idea
and a fine example of creative thinking from a
politician and made a funny little laugh.

I also asked him why we couldn?t collect the
?165,000 worth of market licence fee arrears
the Lib Dem administration were respon-
sible for, and then spend that money on the
homeless. Mr Robinson went very quiet for a
minute while his mouth open and closed like a
goldfish before explaining that this ?wouldn?t
be possible for all sorts of reasons?. He then
had to go as he was attending a house warming
party for Mr Morris the Market Service Man-
ager at his big new house in Weston-super-
Mare and he was already running late.

Reflecting on Mr Robinson?s explanation, I
must say it?s very convincing. We?re right on
top of the accounts at George?s City Hall!

Email Gus stories to BristolianNews@gmail.com